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Advertising Makeover

Advertising can be just like taking a bunch of $100 notes out of your wallet and setting them on fire.

Here’s how one print ad was turned from a money-burning waste to a powerful, response-pulling advertisement.

First, this is the text for a proposed advert in a prestige travel magazine.

PUERTO POLLENSA – Northern Mallorca

Exclusive independent Company – our aim is simple:

  • PERSONAL service – guaranteed
  • Reasonable prices
  • Quality Villas
  • Excellent service
  • FREE one Group A Car
  • Loyalty Club upgrades, discounts guaranteed


  • Al la Carte
  • Views of the Sea
  • Walkable to Pollensa or Puerto Pollensa
  • Nr. Sea

RESERVATIONS 01903 210507
BROCHURE LINE 01903 232640

Now let’s take a look at what the ad is telling me, the potential customer. It tells of all the nice things that are there. It describes the facilities clearly and without a lot of useless words.

But here’s the kicker . . . so does every other ad selling the same type of holiday!

How can we set ourselves apart from the others? To make your advertising different (read ‘effective’) you have to answer the only question your potential customer is asking:

“What’s in it for me?”

To show your customer what’s in it for him or her, you have to point out the benefits of what you have on offer, not just the features. If you have excellent service, tell them that your excellent service means they’ll feel like royalty.

Get the idea? Let’s take a look at the ad again, but this time let’s add some more words. Let’s add some sizzle to our steak!

“Discover the Difference between us and the others”
As an exclusive, independent company we aren’t tied to a corporate bean counter’s idea of what a decent holiday should be.
So we can really pull out all stops to
give you the best experience possible!

  • PERSONAL service — we guarantee you’ll be a face with a name, not just some booking number
  • Reasonable prices — we can usually tailor our packages to suit your budget
  • Quality Villas — feel like royalty on a working class budget/
  • Excellent service — because you deserve the best
  • FREE one Group A Car — a second rate car could ruin your holiday
  • Loyalty Club upgrades — spend more to get more
  • Our Discounts are Guaranteed — If we promise you a discount . . . you’ll get it! We pride ourselves on our honesty and dedication in making your holiday the BEST YOU’VE EVER HAD!

BEAUTIFUL VILLAS WITH PRIVATE POOLS — ever wanted to swim naked? Now’s your chance!

  • Al la Carte Menu — no need to put up with boring fixed menu cafeteria-style food
  • Views of the Ocean — enjoy breakfast/cocktails while you soak up the beauty of the sun rising/setting.
  • Short, fascinating walk to Pollensa or Puerto Pollensa — shopping bargains, quaint local produce. Stuff you’ll never see again!
  • Near the Ocean — smell the pure salt air/ feel the clean air on your skin etc

Phone NOW . . . our limited number of DISCOUNT PACKAGES are being booked FAST!

PUERTO POLLENSA – Northern Mallorca
Contact details

RESERVATIONS  01903  210507
BROCHURE LINE 01903  232640

If you print out the two ads you’ll easily see the difference.

Problem is, the second ad is now a lot bigger than the first one. When this happens, I always remember the words of an old friend of mine, Aussie advertising genius, Dick Ash. We did a lot of work for Dick when he had the national contract for Jim Beam, Absolut, Cutty Sark and Cuervo.

Dick lived by one golden advertising rule . . . “ONE AD, ONE PRODUCT”. What he was saying was don’t clutter your ad with everything bar the kitchen sink.

This is what ad campaigns are for. If you have 5 unique points to get across, take five ads, and get each point across, one ad at a time.

Obviously since our sample our product is a holiday at our resort (one product), we don’t need more than a two-ad campaign — one for the resort proper, and one for the surrounding locale.

FOOTNOTE: Notice I moved the business name from the top of the ad? That’s because you need to ALWAYS run a headline up there (see our next story).

And bluntly, no-one gives two hoots who you are.

At least, not until you’ve created enough desire in their mind for your product or service. So use the whole ad to sell them, and right at the end, tell them how to get hold of you.

Last, but most definitely not least, tell them to act. This seems so obvious, in fact so obvious than almost all advertisers forget to do it! It’s called your call to action — and never run an ad without it.

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